"Headline?" "Swing Set Needs Home," I said. "Desperately Lonely Swing Set Needs Loving Home," he said. "Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children" I said. He laughed. "That’s why." "What?" "That’s why I like you. Do you realize how rare it is to come across a hot girl who creates an adjectival version of the word pedophile?"

(Source: peaceserums)





when british people say “maths” i laugh because thats fucking stupid

when american’s campaign against universal healthcare britain laughs because thats fucking stupid


we fucking call it maths because it’s fucking mathematics there’s more than one of them or maybe you pee-brained eagle-fuckers can only handle one

i’m sorry who won the damn war